I'm bipolar. I blog about it. I also blog about sex, theology and atheology, funny shit and sad shit, books, music, feminism, and love. Mostly love.

Thursday, February 14, 2013


This is obligatory because I've promised to blog every day of lent. But this is also obligatory because Valentine's Day is a mixed-blessing. I personally love Valentine's Day. It's got candy, chocolate, dates (with lovers, friends, and family), and you get to make a little note to tell someone you love them. And shut up to all the, "but you should express your love all year" people. Just. Shut up. I do fucking express my love all year. I say it every damn day and mean it when I say it. I give hugs, send nice messages, call to check in on people, and buy random-ass things I know they'll enjoy because I love the people in my life. And they do the same for me. Now. This is a WHOLE DAY set aside to celebrate love. We have days to celebrate boxing, the births of famous people, the deaths of famous people, all of the United States presidents at once... why do we hate on a day set aside for love?
Now. I recognize that media has turned made it about romance. I get that. That's cool. But whether or not you buy (eh-hem) into that is up to you. Because I'm a single lady, I choose not to. With a boyfriend, sure, I'd probably bring some romance into it; but I will never neglect the other people I love. Valentine's Day is both over and underrated. It's taken over jewelry industries and chocolate companies, and fancy restaurants. But it has not been recognized for it's full potential.

Okay. Moving on.

Woohoo! Holding strong. This is also V-Day to fight abuse against women and girls for those of you interested. I was blessed with a million gifts of candy that I had to turn away (or put away) because of Lent. But somehow it didn't feel like that much of a chore. I'M BEING HEALTHY DAMMIT! So I don't have a whole lot to say on that one.
Note that all day between these pictures I drank a lot of water and ate a lot of nuts and seeds. I just took a container to all my classes. Here's da foods:
Breakfast: Quaker oatmeal made from water with cherry juice to drink
Lunch: Spinach salad with broccoli, carrots, cucumber, and olive oil &vinegar. Granola cereal with soy milk (already gobbled up). Zucchini and peppers. An apple. And soy milk to drink.

Dinner Appetizer: Salad with carrots, broccoli, edamame, sunflower seeds, and olive oil & vinegar. (Noticing a trend?) That's unsweetened ice tea to drink.

Dinner: The server swore all of this was cooked in oil. Grilled green beans, sweet potato fries, and rice pilaf.


I worked out by myself today (something I rarely do) and just jogged a mile running the last lap. That's really about it. Other than that because of leaving my shit everywhere I had to power walk all over campus which did hell on my calves. "Sometimes love don't feel like it should..."

This is what I wrote in my journal this morning:
Today for myself I will work out. I know it's kind of required, but I'm actually excited about it today.
Today I will make valentines for everyone on Union Board.
Today I am most excited to eat with Jim and Grandma.
Today I am most anxious about changing my routine (adding workout and eating in towers).
Today I am thankful for soy milk.

So, I'm not going to post my meals on here every night because I do it on Facebook all day long. It's getting a bit redundant. Plus the pictures litter up the post and I don't get to say much else. Here's my page to go like it if you want to follow my sweet, sweet vegan ass. 

You should also probably follow me on Twitter because I'm fun.

For those of you who are new, here's the post that explains what the hell I'm doing.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Day 1 "He punched the highlights out of her HAIR!"

Thus far, veganism is both harder and easier than I thought. It's difficult because animal by-products are in EVERYTHING. EVERYONE tests on animals. And for the first time in my life, I'm reading the label of everything I eat. It's easy because it rests well on my soul. I have no guilt. The changes to my diet are only helping my own health, the environment, animals, and my conscience. I always hated dieting because being fit was not quite enough of a motivator. But the ethical treatment of animals is pretty important to me. I don't mind going out of my way to read a label or give away a granola bar (you'll see) if it's going to make a difference in my life. For the first time I'm entirely conscious of what I'm eating. Not just the caloric content (although that's a side-effect of all this research) but of hormones and chemicals used and the way we treat animals. Every time I eat I feel better about my decision. It's not that hard. I can't unsee the images I've seen. But it's not quite the same. I've been exposed to those images before, but I was neutralized to them--the were just the way things are. But looking at them as a whole person, including my compassion and sense of reason (something we all have), I cannot resolve it within myself to be any part of that kind of abuse. Now. What will I do after these forty days? I'm not positive yet. Right now I'm thinking about a stricter vegetarian diet with a few vegan months of the year. But for right now, I got this. Plus. Vegans have superpowers. Says so in a movie.
"Vegans are just better than most people."

My next promise, to exercise every day has started off strong. I had PE which kind of kicked my butt anyway and then skipped to the gym to keep working out. I owe it to myself. In PE we did Jillian Michaels's workout DVD. Ripped in 30 days. Well here's the thing. It depends on where you're starting if you'll actually be ripped in 30 days. Like. I don't think I'm gonna look like the girls on that screen by the time Lent ends... but progress will be made. The video was great. It was possible but challenging. I'll go as far as to suggest it. I left PE feeling better than I went in, and practically floated to the gym. I met Shannon there. I did 100 sit ups on the sit up bench. Comparing that to my high school records (400 crunches), it felt kind of weak. I needed a little Eminem in my life amIright? Anywho. After that I moved on to weight machines, mostly for arms, shoulders, and abs. Then I rode the stationary bike for 3 miles. I put it on an aerobic circuit which SUCKED but was AWESOME. Come here and feel my legs. Do it.
All of these dudes started Ripped in 30 Days 30 days ago.
Last promise was to journal every day. Here's what I had in my journal:
Today, for myself, I will start off strong on all my challenges.
Today, for someone else, I will add onto that panhellenic valentine. I saw huge bags and boxes of chocolate, and I made a measly card. So I took in a little something extra.
Today I'm excited for new changes!
*Today I'm mostly worried about messing up everything I said earlier.
Today I'm thankful for all the people giving me support, advice, and encouragement.

FOODS! I know you want to know what I've been eating all day. It's all you thought about all day long when you were enjoying bacon and burgers. :P Here it is:
Breakfast: I went to LQ on The Run. There weren't many options there. I couldn't think of much. And the bananas were like 70s bathtub pea green. So I got a grape fruit. I've never actually just eaten grape fruit just to eat it before. But it wasn't bad. I also had a small cup of granola with raisins. (Yeah. I'd have appreciated a bigger cup, but it was only there to supplement the yogurt I don't eat.) And apple juice. Good ole' 100% juice. It wasn't the best vegan breakfast, but it was a start. I'm going to work on incorporating some soy and water oatmeal, vegan breakfast bars, and seeds.
Lunch: I went to lunch with Grandma and a man from the foundation. I was in sweats because I'd just finished a PE class and directly after this lunch would attend another. But we went to a fancy new spot in the Commons now. I can dig. There was a buffet, but ingredients and nutritional information were above each dish. I had water and lemon to drink, and vegetable soup made with vegetable broth. I had a big leafy salad with spinach, mushrooms, broccoli, raisins, cucumbers, and olive oil.YUM. And that glob of grey you see was some pretty yummy rice-consistency thing (I later found out it was not actually rice). It had cranberries and walnuts in it.

Snack: Naked Green Monster smoothie, raspberry water, and that oats 'n honey thing that I had to give away. Let us not forget that bees make honey. :(
Emergency-I'm-Gonna-Die-If-I-Don't-Eat-Now: Another Naked drink. This one was a little fruitier. I also had a Peanut Crunch Cliff Bar. I couldn't have any others because they had chocolate. And then some roasted almonds. Not pictured were some pretty delicious sunflower seeds.
 Dinner: I came home tonight and Jim made me an incredible dinner with kous kous made with peppers, mushrooms, edamame, celery, carrots, and onions. Slightly off-topic. Funny story. One time I went to Baesler's Market to get some kous kous. And I was supposed to get like a pound. But Mom said "Just fill a bag to the top!" Well, only giant huge-normous bags were lefts so I came home with 10 pounds of kous kous. We had to research new ways to cook it. Whoops. Anyway. I also had a vegan Bocca Burger on a whole wheat bun with Grey Poupon Mustard. You're looking at this picture saying "MILK! BLASPHEMY!" Because it looks remarkably white in this picture. But it's almond milk. Fuggin yum.

So. That has been my day. Pretty full of exciting. How are your Lenten challenges going?

*Highlighting means the concern was not validated.
Note from the editor: check out those links. If your interested in eliminating cruelty-free products from your household, check out the list of products and companies tested on animals. If you're looking for a good work out video, I suggest that one because everything else we've done in PE has sucked ass. And you should probably watch that Eminem video because... well... it's badass. And Baesler's is a pretty cool market in Terre Haute. It's the closest we'll come to a Trader Joe's.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Lent. This one's a doozy.

My lovely passengers!

I haven't posted in a long time. A lot of that had to do with the level of busy I've been putting up with. But honestly, I just haven't had much significant to say, and I didn't want to write just to be writing something. And I'm baaack. :)
This is the Lenten Season. Beginning tomorrow, I'll be making a few changes. As most of you know, I'm not religious, but I consider myself a deeply spiritual person. Lent for me is a blessing to myself--to make my life better. Our holidays are set up in genius chronology. It's freezing at Christmas and we need something to cheer us up. PRESENTS! New Year's resolutions come first, and right as we begin to give up on those--LENT! It's really brilliant. Here's my plan:

1. I'm going to end my involvement with animal cruelty. This begins with no more killing bugs. I will collect them and take them outside. And the big one: I'm going to do a lot of research to make sure I can do this healthily and put myself on a diet plan. I'm going to give up dairy. I already don't eat most meat, but I'm going to give up fish as well. (This means I'm giving up my opportunity to eat Wendy's fish. If you don't know how much of a sacrifice that is, then you should probably try it for yourself. It's only out this season.) No dairy. No meat. No gelatin. Yup. You know what that means: vegan. I'm kind of scared, but it's only for 40 days. It means I'm going to have to really pay attention to what goes into my mouth, which is something I should have been doing anyway. Lately I've really looked into animal cruelty in our nation, and it's truly despicable. And we are trapped in this system. The only meat most of us can afford comes from those factory farms, and it's chemically and hormonally treated--it's barely meat anymore. I've also given up (as far as I know) animal-tested products. If you know of any let me know, pretty please. I really want to eliminate that from my life. I know I deserve better, and so do they.
2. I'm going to treat my body better. In accordance with #1, I'm going to eat better. But I will also work out. Every. Day. I feel like this is ultimately impossible. I really do. But I have a sneaky suspicion that if I told myself it was possible, then it would happen. If have to drag my own ass out of bed at 7:00 to make it happen, then that's what I'm going to do. I will do what I need to in order to make a positive change to my body. I can do this. I know I can. And so I will. But I have a reason. I want to be better.
3. I'm going to journal daily. I started this a while ago, but I've been getting lazy. But if I'm getting up early enough to work out, then I should certainly be up early enough to journal every day. My journal entries always answer 5 questions. 1) What will I do for myself today? 2) What will I do for someone else? 3) What am I most excited for? 4)What am I most anxious about? 5) What am I thankful for. At night, I go back, and if my anxiety was unwarranted, I highlight it to keep track of how often I fret needlessly. This forces me to start my day off on a positive note. On that vein, I'm going to blog each of these 40 days. Every day I'll post how I answered my five questions, and I'll keep you updated on my progress including lists and pictures of my meals. That will keep me accountable, and help anyone else who's considering a more ethically-oriented diet. *wink wink*

This is different than giving up cussing or chocolate. This is a change I require of myself. So! In the comments tell me what you're giving up (or adding to your life positively) for Lent! I'd also like suggestions for a vegan diet and (again) if you know of any animal-tested products I may be using.