I'm bipolar. I blog about it. I also blog about sex, theology and atheology, funny shit and sad shit, books, music, feminism, and love. Mostly love.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

First Post... wow.

This is my first post in my new blog. I haven't decided where I want this blog to go. I've decided to stop treating my blog like a journal. No more personal stories with clear details. I'll include some life events, though, but I think only for the sake of creative writing. If I want to write about them eloquently, instead of bitchily, then I'll include it.
The title: I'm bipolar. I'm constantly living on the sill. Sometimes I kind of slip out and have to catch myself, and sometimes I crawl back inside. It's like... I'm always on the edge. Irving wanted us to keep passing the open windows. The artist--the writer--in that story didn't. She jumped. I don't want to jump. But I don't want to live as safely as I used to, inside, where I couldn't see the world. To toe the line of creativity and art, I have to toe the line of madness. These will be my stories, my poetry, my prosetry, and some philosophical and theological ideas. For right now, I'll keep this public, but I'll remain anonymous (as anonymous as the nature of this blog allows), and when I feel that anonymity has been breached, or my intentions misconstrued, then I'll move back into a private format, in which I'll maintain the same kind of format.
I hope you all feel at home here. I think I'll still call you my passengers, and I am still the Conductor. That part of me is still alive. But I have developed enough that I need to expand. I need to let more people see me. I need to feel a little exposed. I can't keep hiding behind permissions. I have changed. I am not someone entirely different, but I am a different version of the most basic form of myself that was brought into this earth and solidified in my upbringing. I am growing though, constantly. This is a reflection of the next step in my life. Welcome.


mym2bw said...

I just made an eloquent post and it disappeared. I love you. I am proud of you. I can't wait to see what I see in this window on your soul. I love you.

The Conductor said...

Window. Good one.

Cypress said...

Sounds like a good choice. I'm glad you are choosing to move on like this. You go girl! You can make beauty of things, like bipolar, etc. in such an artful way. don't forget that.